Sunday, 14 May 2017

Betrothal /Nichayadhartham

Indian marriages are quite interesting and it includes lot of small functions and the first step of entering into a relationship is assured during the Betrothal Function.

Almost every family has some formality unique for themselves. I am sharing most common practices that a normal Tamil Brahmin family would do.

The bride and the groom meet, after the elders are satisfied with the matching of Horoscope (Jadhaga porutham). Nowadays, they also take sometime to understand their areas of interest, lifestyle, plan for their future etc; and decide to accept the proposal. Both families are very much excited to enter into a new relationship. It is usually conducted at the bride groom's house or in a small hall.

Recently heard that in Iyengar Families the bride's family conduct the function.

The most important aspect of the Betrothal is the reading of the Agreement for marriage that contains the details of both family members, proposed date of marriage, place of marriage and signing agreement by the parents in front of the elders.

The Sasthrigal used to come on this day and assist in terms of performing the function, writing and reading the Nichayadhartha pathirikkai. You can ask Sastrigal's assistance to provide a list of things that he would require. Other than that, the one conducting the function need to be prepared with Turmeric, Santhanam, Kumkum, Thamboolam for the guest, Manjal & Kumkum for the ladies who visit the function and any gift of your choice.

The Bride's family arrange for Nichayadhartha Seer and present to the groom's family during the function. The wide range of fruits & gifts they bring depict their love and affection for their expected son in law. Usually the variety of fruits includes Mangoes, apple, Pomegranate, Banana, Orange, Pineapple, Dates. Flowers, Betal Leaves & Nuts and garlands for the would be couple are also brought. In our family a small silver plate filled with Sugar is gifted on the occasion of Betrothal by the bride's family. Our tradition also includes Milk Kova to be brought in a new vessel. The traditional 5 to 7 layers of Murukku and Laddu are also brought to gift the visitors. Paruppu Thengai is also a must for this function in our families.



Both families buy new dresses to gift the bride and groom. Nowadays new dresses are gifted among the parents as well to greet them. The young would be couple will wear the new dresses that the Sastrigal would give to them after reciting the mantras. Then they are allowed to sit together and maami and mama of the bride and groom would make them wear garlands respectively. People started gifting jewels for both bride and groom and also exchange ring. Even though these are not part of our traditional method of engagement, we started adopting them for the happiness and satisfaction of the young would be couple.

Sister in law of the bride help her to dress for the function that gives her a comfort in the new family.

The function ends by serving fine food prepared/ordered by the groom's family.




Sunday, 2 April 2017

Sri Rama Navami

SriRama Navami is a simple yet important function we celebrate. It is celebrated on the Birthday of SriRamar who was born on Tamil Month of Panguni and the star is Punar Poosam. Sri Ramar has been an inspiration to all of us because of the discipline he demonstrated in his Avatar as Sri Ramar.

This year the festival falls on 5 Apr 2017.

We all used to have the Ramar Pattabishegam image at home where Sri Ramar, Sita Devi, Lakshmanan and Lord Anajaneya are available. We can decorate this with garlands/flowers and apply Sandal and Kumkum for the Pooja.



As a matter of celebration ladies clean the home and decorate with Maakolam. Be prepared with Betal leaves & Nuts, flowers for archanai, fruits for neivedhyam. We take head bath on this day to perform and participate in Pooja at home and at temples. The cooking at home should not include onion and garlic as we do for any other Pooja.

Few people start the celebrations 10 days in advance of the festival. Both in temples and at home people start reading Sundara gandam before 10 days and complete the reading on the birthday of Sri Ramar which we call as Garba Utsavam. The day we complete the reading of Sundara Gandam is celebrated by offering Neivedyam and performing pooja to Sri Ramar.

Few also start reading Sundara Gandam on the day of Sri Rama Navami and complete after 10 days which we call as Janana Utsavam.

The day when we complete the reading of Sundara Gandam it is appreciated if Brahmanas are invited and offered food and Dhakshanai.

The most important items for neivedhyam on this day are Panagam and Neer mor. These are simple neivedhyams unlike we do for other festivals. The saying I heard from elders is that Sri Ramar being a King celebrated his Birthday in a very simple manner. But Lord Vishnu in his Avatar as Sri Krishna celebrates his birthday grand even though he lived as a ordinary man.

Other than Panagam and Neer Mor, we also prepare vadaparuppu, Payasam & Vadai for Neivedyam.

It is believed that reading of Sundara Gandam fulfills our desires and brings in joy in our home.

The Neivedhyam recipes to celebrate Srirama Navami can be referred in Jeyashri's Kitchen

Celebrate Rama navami and seek the blessings of god....

Thursday, 9 February 2017

Sadabishegam / Sashtiapthapoorthy/Beemarathashanthi

We recently attended Sadabishegam of our relative and I was able to take few clicks that would help to explain about the gracious occasion better. This is usually celebrated when the husband completes 80 years of age. Primarily the son of the couple take responsibility of conducting the function for their parents. However, nowadays both sons and daughters jointly take ownership in conducting this memorable function. At this age the couple would have daughters in law/sons in law and grand children who fill the function with endless joy.


The function celebrated upon completion of 60/70 years of age is called Sashtiapthapoorthy/Bhimarathashanthi respectively. It will be the star birthday of the husband when the function is conducted. These functions are more importantly conducted at Thirukadaiyur whilst it is also good doing at their own city of residence. The most significant part of the function is the "Abhishegam" for the couple with sacred water. During Sashtiapthapoorthy & Sadabishegam Mangalya dharanam is performed. The dress worn by the couple during Abhishegam is given for charity.



Rudra Ekadesi is performed the day before the function. Abhishegam is performed on this day too. But the Abhishegam is performed only by the Priests and not by invitees.

Ayush homam is also conducted that enhances their life with good health.

Brother of the woman take the privilege of bringing in new dresses for the couple that is worn after Abhishegam. Wearing that saree Mangalya Dharanam is being performed. Thirumangalyam is also usually gifted by the Brother. Brother's take this privilege in the place of their parents to offer Seethanam. The tradition shows how bonded we are even at the age of 80 in terms of iterating our traditions. In some families, these occasions act as a ice breaker when there is a long standing silence between relatives. In all means functions bring in lot of instances to cherish.

Paruppu thengai (Paniyaram) is a must to be brought either by brothers/parents or by sons who conduct the function.



People who visit the function to get blessings from the elderly couple also bring in Sarees & Blouse/Dhoti & towel for the couple as it is considered as a sacred way of getting their blessings.

Rudram is chanted on this day by the priests and archanai is being made to the wholly water kept in the Bronze vessels (Kalasam). The family members usually perform archanai while Saasthrigal recite the mantras. The sons and daughter in laws must wear madisaar during the occasion till the Abhishegam is completed. Usually, priests provide list of kalasam required and other Pooja materials for the function. Few important things that are required for the abhishegam are taken care by the priests themselves.

We need to be prepared with the exchange cloths and Towels that are required immediately after Abhishegam. The couple are elders and cannot withstand the cold for long time. The visitors are also allowed to pour the holy water after the priest complete the initial part of it. Golden jewels are also placed on the wide Bronze Sieve (Jaladai) used to perform Abhishegam. Hence be prepared for the occasion which is most important and do not drag more time since this might end up leaving the couple in wet dress for long time.

On this day the couple is considered as Parvathi and Paramasivam and hence blessings from them is most auspicious.

Thampathi Poojai is also conducted on this day. You may ask your family Priests (Saasthrigal) for further details.

Maakolam and Plantain trees are used to decorate the entrance with of the house and the place where the function is being conducted. We need to be prepared with Kuthu vilakku, required oil, match boxes, flowers for the invitees, thamboolam to be distributed at the end of the function.

Garlands, new dresses for the couple and their family members are bought to add more charm to the function. We may wish to arrange for return gifts for the invitees. Nowadays, the functions are conducted in Mini Halls. Hence this has to be arranged in advance.

And finally, a complete meal that is considered a best method of honoring the visitors is also prepared and served.

Sumangali Prarthanai and Samaarathanai are also conducted before the function. Family deity is also visited before/after the function.

Share your experiences too which I would be eager to read.........